Absurdities #8

By Eilene Lyon

Auto makers have been coming up with weird names for cars and trucks for…well, forever. But the auto industry has nothing on the RV manufacturers.

I live in a tourist town, so there is no shortage of RVs bumbling through the area, especially in the warmer months. (Full disclosure: we own an RV – a 21-foot trailer named Tahoe.)

Here are a few examples: Leprechaun, Xalta, Arctic Fox, Sprinter, Stealth, Eagle.

What is an RV? A boxy living unit on wheels, frequently being driven or towed by someone over the age of 55. Sometimes found in packs (Lobo being a fitting name) in RV parks, or clogging popular routes to National Parks.

Often you will find yourself behind one going 5 or 10 miles under the speed limit (even slower on Colorado mountain passes).

Do they remind you of a large, deep mountain lake in California? A little imp dressed in green, promising you pots of gold? A white, furry mammal on the tundra? An Olympic athlete? A shadowy creeper? Or a soaring, majestic raptor? (I have NO idea what an Xalta is supposed to be.)

If your RV is named Cougar, you’d better be a 60-year-old woman with a 35-year-old boyfriend riding shotgun.

Is the one called Imagine telling me to imagine what I could be seeing if I weren’t stuck behind it?

Will the Hurricane blow me off the road if I try to pass?

The Sunstar is what you get in your eyes from the blinding reflection off its rear window.

Is the Hideout being used as shelter by a gang of bandits?

What is the object of attraction sought by the people towing the Conquest?

 

In the spirit of generosity, I’ve decided to come up with more appropriate names, which I’m offering to the RV manufacturers – absolutely royalty-free!

 

Box Turtle: This noble beast is perfectly fitting to be honored by the RV industry. It moves slowly and deliberately, carrying its home with it wherever it goes. The average life span is 50 years, and many live to over 100. What an inspiration to all those senior campers!

Myopia: This model is perfect for those drivers who love to visit mountainous states. They will never see the line of 20 or 30 vehicles piling up behind them, all dearly wishing the trundling camper ahead would just ease over onto the shoulder for a rest to let them go by.

Jabba the Hutt: Need I say more? (Okay, someone may want a royalty on that one.)

Skip to My Loo: Let’s face it, what RVers really want is to have a bathroom close at hand for any sudden need that arises. And when you’re as old as me, baby, I guarantee you the need arises at the most inconvenient moments!

 

Leprechaun image: Wikimedia commons

Mountain lion image: Wikimedia commons

Box turtle image: By I, Jonathan Zander, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=4086625

Jabba the Hutt image: By Source (WP:NFCC#4), Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=39243829