A Widow Perseveres

Week 27: #52 Ancestors – Independent

Perhaps it’s a bit perverse to write about the granddaughter of a Loyalist for this prompt, but I greatly admire my 3^rd-great-grandmother, Mary Paulina Rowley Cutting. Widowed by the age of 41, Mary never remarried. Though she certainly had assistance at times, she clearly was an independent woman.

Mary gave inconsistent ages to census-takers over the years, but I believe she most likely was born in 1830 or 1831, in Shelburne, Chittenden County, Vermont.¹ She married Hiram B. Cutting in 1851, said to be a very kind, well-respected man.²

Mary lived in Charlotte, not far from Shelburne, with her first four children in 1860.³ Hiram worked on the ships on Lake Champlain, so Mary held down the fort at home.⁴ Her widowed mother lived with her older brother, George and family, right next door, so certainly she wasn’t entirely without family assistance.

When the Civil War broke out, Hiram eagerly enlisted, and Mary continued to take care of her growing family without her husband by her side. After serving the Union for two years, Hiram came home in poor health.⁵ Despite that, the family moved west – to Newburg, Fillmore County, Minnesota, in 1866.⁶

Hiram finally succumbed to “quick consumption” (tuberculosis) in 1872. He is buried in Hesper, Iowa, with their son, Fred, who died at the age of two, just two weeks before his father.⁷ (Hesper is a short distance from Newburg, just across the state line.)

Mary’s seven other children all survived childhood and her oldest son, Arthur, took responsibility for helping support the family. Mary had a sanguine attitude about the situation, saying, “The good Lord will provide.” To which Arthur would respond, “Yes – with a lot of rustling.”⁸

However, after settling his mother and siblings on a farm near Hesper, Arthur went out west to work for a freight company for five years.⁹ Thus, Mary had plenty of work to do for herself and the younger children.

Mary did file for a widow’s pension based on Hiram’s service. It was awarded in December 1876, but was retroactive to Hiram’s death in 1872.¹⁰ The little windfall must have been welcome, indeed. The payments included $2 for each of her minor children, too.

In the early 1880s, the big Dakota Territory boom was on. Arthur Cutting selected a homestead in Codington County. Mary also homesteaded a quarter section.¹¹ She wasn’t the least abashed about taking care of business, either. She saved all the important papers she accumulated over the years, and they were passed down through her daughters, granddaughters and great-granddaughters.

Sometime after settling in what became South Dakota, Mary’s blind sister, Kate Rowley, came to live with her, and Mary became her support.¹² They lived independently for a number of years in Waubay, South Dakota, after Mary sold her farm to her son, Frank Cutting. Eventually, the two elderly ladies moved in with Mary’s daughter, Jessie Butler, and family.¹³

This strong, independent woman, finally went to her eternal rest on July 1, 1910. Kate followed a year and a half later, and they are buried together in Waubay, South Dakota.¹⁴

The following excerpt from Mary’s obituary reveals much about her nature:

“Mrs. Cutting was a woman of domestic virtue, Christian character and was a member of the Methodist Episcopal church. She was also a soldier’s widow, her husband, Hiram Cutting, being a member of Co. A, 2d Reg., Minn, V.I., She was held in the highest esteem by all who knew her, and the large number of friends that followed her remains to their last resting place show the respect with which she was held.”¹⁵

Feature image: The Friends Church in Hesper, Iowa, where Hiram B. Cutting is buried. Mary was probably never a Quaker, but many in the Cutting family line, possibly including Hiram, were members. (E. Lyon 2012)

Mary Paulina Rowley on Ancestry.com