By Eilene Lyon
I love County Fair time. It’s the only time of year I get to hang with barnyard animals – and I’m not just talking the four-legged-and-feathered gang. Since our fairgrounds are right in town, and it’s tourist season, I took the opportunity to ride my bike along the scenic river trail to my destination.
After locking my two-wheeled steed to a shady tree, I heard the call of the livestock judges, so I hustled to the arena to peruse the pampered bovines. Promptly landed in a fresh happy-pie, wearing completely inappropriate footwear, of course.
I swear, there are more shampoos, spray bottles, combs, brushes, razors, and blow-dryers here than in a bevy of beauty salons.
This lovely heifer enjoyed the fresh breeze up her whatzit, but not having her portrait done. She stared at me long and hard until the camera came up. Then she quickly gave me the cold shoulder.
The 4-Hers had their moment in the ring to parade their hard work before the judges and proud parents. I’m impressed with how those boys and girls push and pull around so many pounds of beef on the hoof. (I prefer mine on a plate, medium rare, with a side of broccoli and loaded baked potato.)
I wasn’t quite sure what the deal was with the kids poking the cows in the belly, though. To prove it was all meat and not grass gas?
No matter how small or large the cowboy or cowgirl, a dessert-plate-sized belt buckle was absolutely de rigueur.
I must admit that I’m partial to the pigs. And it’s not just because bacon is one of those must-have items in my diet. No, you can lay the blame squarely on A. A. Milne and E. B. White. I loved these two playing a little kissy-face.
This one seems to have a worried, knowing look. I swear I did not whisper “pork chops” in her ear.
But most of her brethren were pretty chilled out.
Onward to the sheep and goats. Years ago, when I was carving a jungle scene into a slab of mahogany to be the headboard of the bed I was building, my woodshop instructor pointed out the perversion of taking this beautiful tree out if its native forest and then subjecting it to the indignity of have a jungle carved into it.
So, I wondered how these sheep felt about being dressed up in coats. “Hey, ya know, I had a perfectly decent coat until you took it away from me!” But they are rather stylin’. Now when they go out in the field, they don’t all just look like a bunch of super-plus tampons on legs.
I mean, check out these duds. I do think there is probably a bit of Spandex® going on here. Sacrilege!
Most of the goats were perfectly respectable with long, floppy ears. Then I ran across these two. Those ears are smaller than a pinnaped’s (aka sea lion). The breed name turns out to be Lamancha. Which naturally brings to mind Don Quixote. And if I mangle my Spanish badly enough, makes me wonder if something came along and chewed their ears right off.
To the poultry and rabbit barn! You gotta love a 4-H kid with a sense of humor.
Check out all these adorable future farmers lining up for a chance to hold the rooster. This man was clearly having a blast with the little tykes.
Next stop, exhibit hall. Right inside the entry, the Republican Party plastered their banners from floor to ceiling, trumpeting Trump and our Congressional representative who refuses to hold a town hall anywhere near Durango. So where were the Dems? Dunno.
Okay, past the ladies selling religion and face cream, yada yada. The photography exhibit is always very good. The quilters are world-class (two of my friends had theirs on display). The quilters’ guild raffles one off every year.
Upstairs we find the floral and produce section. It seems the entries are fewer and fewer every year. I’m starting to think that next year I should participate – I could clean up in the ribbon department, and I don’t even grow all that much.
One category does seem to be expanding: fairy gardens. Go figure. I guess with the way the world’s going, a little fantasy land sounds pretty good.
The baked goods, preserves, and handicrafts seem to be holding their own. After all this wandering, I was a bit thirsty. I should have gone straight for the water bottle on my bike. Instead, I headed over to the midway where the food stands were set up.
Strawberry lemonade sounded refreshing, so I stepped up and ordered one. When the woman told me, “That’ll be six bucks,” I should have immediately come back with, “What?! Is there some tequila in that?” Or at least cancelled the order and walked away. Live and learn.
Instead she handed me a Big-Gulp-sized container filled with something that I swear was laced with aspartame. After drinking about 50 cents worth, I began feeling a little nauseous. But hey, I can get half-price refills all weekend! I dumped the rest out and tossed the plastic into the nearest recycling bin, feeling extra guilty about the straw.
With that less-than-satisfying conclusion to my visit, I mounted my purple-painted “pony” and cantered off down the river trail.
“See all y’all next year!!”
Feature image: Robert Bye on Unsplash
Produce image: Iñigo De la Maza on Unsplash
Funnel cake stand image: Kody Gautier on Unsplash
Bicycling image: John Torcasio on Unsplash
I love these country fairs too. Here in the south of the Cotswolds one of our best is the annual ploughing fair/contest over a weekend in September. Tractors of all shapes and sizes plus horses competing to plough 4 lines meeting the furrow standards of depth, angle and straightness. So much more … steam engines, falconry, animal shows, chickens, …. and of course lots of ales and cider!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Sounds fabulous! I went to pioneer days in South Dakota a few years ago and they had a lot of cool stuff like tractors and horse-powered threshers, etc. I love it all.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I love a fair! Thanks for the walk through your country fair. A fun read!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks! Someday I need to go to the demolition derby and the midway rides.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I walked through the midway rides this year, but couldn’t be enticed to go on them!
LikeLiked by 2 people
They’re a little tame for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even the sling shot?!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It could be fun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your county fair sounds almost as large as the Iowa State Fair!
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL. I doubt it!
LikeLike
Lots of fun at county fairs! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yessiree!
LikeLike
Forevermore I’m going to have the image of shorn sheep as large tampons… And living, as I do, in Wales, where the sheep outnumber the humans… next shearing season will be fun! 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
You can’t unsee it! Hahaha!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I love the food at county fairs. Everything can be deep fried!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Eeeeek!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am glad 4H is still around so children understand where and how the food system really starts. A good fair is a wonderful adventure, and I like to go on a weekday when it’s not so busy. It looks like you had a great tour, well, except for the $6 drink. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Friday is my favorite day to go. Everything is decorated with ribbons by then.😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Except for your aspartame incident, the fair looked like fun. That pig in the cage looking up at you is hilarious. So many captions could work there.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Feel free to make your contribution!
LikeLike
Your photo essay on the county fair was a delight! I enjoyed every minute of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Liz. Sometimes it’s fun to try a different style of writing and see how it fares.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pun intended?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Subliminally!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love county fairs too, but I only get to go every few years now when I manage to time a visit back to Ohio to coincide with one – the English version just isn’t the same! I feel bad for all the animals, who will inevitably be turned into food, but I still enjoy getting to pet them and look at all the different breeds. My favourite county fair has the most delicious chocolate milkshakes at the 4H booth, and they cost much less than $6; definitely better than your horrible sounding lemonade!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh a milkshake (vanilla) would have been delightful. What’s different about the fairs in England?
LikeLiked by 1 person
They have vanilla and strawberry too. I normally prefer strawberry to chocolate but their strawberry is a little too artificial. The chocolate is perfect though.
English fairs tend to be a lot smaller and not have as much of stuff as their American equivalent. The food is also very different – you can’t get any of my favourites like elephant ears, French waffles, Hawaiian shave ice, and definitely no milkshakes! Just gross burger vans and maybe some crappy dinky doughnuts if you’re lucky.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Given that I don’t go to the fair for the food, the English fair would probably be delightful, too.
LikeLike
Seems like you got to see just about everything there is to see at a county fair. Did they have stock dog trials? I love to watch the dogs work.
LikeLike
No, they have a demolition derby, though! Though I know some people here who train and compete with stock dogs, I don’t think there are any trials held near here.
LikeLike