By Eilene Lyon
I spoke with my dad the other day. He was widowed not long ago. Even more recently he turned 89. He says his memory isn’t great, so he’s been asking me questions. One is a query I answer regularly (and reluctantly), so I thought I’d share it here for posterity.
“How did I first arrive in Durango?”
I graduated from Ohio State University in June 1985. The next day, I began the cross-country drive to my grandmother’s place in Corvallis, Oregon. I intended to make that city my permanent home. The economy was not good. I struggled to find a job that would make use of my accounting degree and related work experience.
Meanwhile, the man I’d become engaged to back in Columbus took a separate cross-country trip on his motorcycle, planning to rock climb in Wyoming’s Wind River Mountains with a friend. Afterward, he would join me in Corvallis.

Doug was a bit older than me, and divorced. I was the responsible one with good credit. He’d provided me with a car and trailer for my trip (not in great condition). I provided him with a credit card “for emergencies.” I thought he’d be in Oregon a couple weeks after me, but he extended his trip (rock climbing?). I gave him a deadline: August 15.

As the deadline approached, with little contact from Doug, my credit card bill arrived. Jaw dropping, eyes popping, I scanned the long list of charges that had maxed out the card’s $700 limit. He’d been traveling all over the country for two months. On MY credit!!
August 15. I was absolutely vibrating with fury when Doug knocked on the back door of Grandma’s house. She, being protective of me, would not allow him inside. I glared at him, showed him the card statement, and handed him the engagement ring. He camped in the backyard that night.

A red-eyed, blotchy-faced man knocked again the next morning. He would leave, but the rear tire on his motorcycle was bald. Unbelievable, but true. To get rid of him, I had to buy him a new tire!
Doug had a (female) friend in Durango whom he’d visited in his wanderings, so he went back there and called me over and over, pleading with me to reconsider.
I was a wreck for days. I’d promised Grandma I’d paint her house in exchange for lodging, but I finished only a small portion. I quit some hastily acquired fast-food jobs, and gave in to Doug’s relentless pleas to come to Durango. Grandma did not forgive me for this for years.

Not surprisingly, I never regained my trust in Doug. We were done for good five months later. I may not have known what I wanted in a life partner, but I did realize I’d found my forever home in the San Juan Mountains of southwest Colorado.

Feature image: Doug and I spent our first week together in Durango at his friend’s “shotgun shack” on Third Ave. Then we moved in with a co-worker who rented this condominium.
P.S. Doug paid the minimum monthly amount on my card for years, but he did pay it off. Fortunately, I had another credit card I could use, somewhat of a rare thing for a single young woman in those days.
Great story. And what happened to Doug? Did he grow up and become a more responsible adult?
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I do not know!
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Great story Eilene! I quite enjoy learning about the history of my favorite bloggers 🙂 I know it was a different time economically but how lucky I suppose that the credit card had only a $700 limit. Doug would certainly fall into my “not a winner or keeper” category 🙂
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Certainly he had some good points in his favor, but this really killed the deal, so to speak.
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What a story. Doug done you wrong. Obviously. But what a dramatic way to end up living somewhere you loved. Also, impressed by your two credit cards at that time. You’re right it was rare.
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I always worked through my college years. I developed a rapport with a bank teller who helped me get my first Visa card by giving my application to her husband at Bank One. Having one and using it properly makes it easier to get more. Various department stores were happy to give out credit cards to students. I once had a huge stack of cards, but realized that was hurting my credit, so I winnowed it down to a few. I still have that Citibank account that Doug abused, but Discover is my go-to.
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I had a department store credit card, but not a proper bank one until I was married. As a spouse it was okay to give me one, but on my own— no way. 😒
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My first: a JC Penneys Dept. store card. I felt so grown up 😉
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Of course!
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I’ll bet! I had one of those and other store cards. None now.
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So funny that those type were usually the easiest to get to start building credit way back then, especially if you were female and young. Now the offers for cards are so common for everyone.
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Checks are obsolete and cash is on the way. Electronic transfer is in. I’m not sure how credit and loans get established these days.
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It’s incredible, isn’t it? Single women couldn’t get credit until the 1970s and even then it was difficult. I tried to get a small bank loan to start a business here and they told me, “Deposit the amount you want to borrow and then we’ll loan it to you.” No joke. But they would lend hundreds of thousands to audacious men who promptly went bankrupt. I watched it happen! Crazy.
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Crazy and infuriating…
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Grrrr!
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Not a keeper. . . Glad you escaped.
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We did almost marry. Back then you had to get a blood test. I got that far. Then at the courthouse to get a license I balked. Wouldn’t get out of the car. Things went downhill quickly from that point.
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A very entertaining story of how you settled in Durango. I bet we’ve all had a Doug in our lives. Glad to hear he eventually paid it off. Shows he had a conscience.
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He wasn’t a bad guy, just very immature for his age.
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Wow! The nerve of that guy! At least he paid it off in the end, but still. At least you found out before you married him.
Glad that, despite the drama, you found your forever place – one good thing to come out of the fiasco.
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Funny how bad things can turn out well in the end. It’s one thing we learn as we go through life. So many people despair before finding out how it can turn around.
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Great story! You may have had a college degree, but this was a life lesson. At first, I thought this story was about your dad — that he’d forgotten how he got to Durango. But I figured it out by paragraph 2. 🙂
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I guess I can see how that would be confusing. He wanted to know how I wound up here.
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I surprised that Doug actually paid what he owed you. What a creep!
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It really ticked me off that he did it in the slowest way possible, but he wound up paying so much more in interest that way.
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You dodged a bullet by not marrying him!
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It really turned me off to the entire notion of marriage.
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I can understand why! I’d have been gun-shy, too.
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Durango did not seem to offer up too many financially responsible types, either. I did know that much was important to me.
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Financial responsibility is a must for a marriage, regardless of the starry eyes.
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Absolutely!
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I think you dodged a bullet there!
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Certainly so!
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Wow, Eilene, THAT is a story!!!
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On the bright side, I learned a good lesson and did not get in any hurry to marry anyone. Maybe it’s just Durango, but there were plenty of men here willing to let me support them! Ha!
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Very interesting! And unnerving!!
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Something about the transient nature of a tourist town with a heavy emphasis on the hospitality services jobs.
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It sounds like you dodged a very large – and financially dangerous – bullet. I can’t imagine thinking that using someone else’s credit card for unauthorized purchases is okay. Yikes!
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Maybe Doug just had a rather expansive definition of the word “emergency.”😂
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You can’t get from there to here without a couple of flat tires along the way. What a story though, and it’s funny how life works out isn’t it?
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We do get philosophical about the disappointments of our past at this stage in life. Every wrong turn eventually brought me to where I am now, which is a good place to be.
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That’s how it works. 🙂
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And I’ll never make another mistake…🤣
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How sad that you trusted him and he became an opportunist in the end, but I’m glad to read that he eventually paid you back, albeit slowly. You were smart to hold out for Mr. Right!
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Well, not sad to be trusting. But he was not a winner, it is true. Not all bad, either, but took advantage of me.
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Well we all have bad life experiences and those stumbling blocks are part of what makes us who we are today.
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Exactly.
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I graduated in 1985 also. There were not many jobs at that time. With an English degree and a bckground in French language, I landed in Manhattan and stayed for 4 years. Hustle was the name of the game. Thanks for sharing.
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It was not a good economy in Durango either. Many storefronts were literally boarded up. But there were waitressing jobs available.
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I pounded the paveway, used my contacts and found a first job in the garment district. I was lucky and determined. Have a great day.
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pavement, lol.
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Yeah, I did manage to do okay with determination. Networking works, too.
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Omg I’d have been fuming about credit card
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Simply NOT a kosher thing to do!
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Wow! What a story! First of all, I’m glad for the happy ending – he paid for his mistakes and you found your forever home! The fact you had two credit cards at the time is impressive and the fact you gave him a second chance is a plot twist. I’m not sure I could have done it! Whatever happened to Doug? Did you stay in touch?
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He did contact me a few years later, but I still wasn’t interested. After that experience I never did give anyone a second chance. There was one I maybe should have, though!
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Second chances are overrated. If someone hurt you one time, odds are good they’ll do it again.
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Almost a certainty!
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I loved this post. Your voice is so authentic and the story is beyond words! Thanks for sharing it.
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I says what I means, and I means what I says.😝
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👍🏼
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We learn as we go….
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That we do…
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